Shame and Identity, Part 6: What Is Shame?
Now that we understand our identity (both the Macro and the Micro), its source (Christ, not our performance), and how our identity is based on God’s efforts, not ours, let’s look at shame.
On Day One of this devotional, when Jack made identity statements like, “I suck,” “I’m hopeless,” and “I’m a failure,” he was shaming himself.
If guilt is saying, “I did X wrong,” shame is saying, “I am wrong.” Shame is personal. Shame sees our sense of self as defective and having a low level of worth.
At the heart of it, shame is a belief. It is a belief based on our poor performance, not on what God says is true about us.
In other words, Scripture says we are not what we do; we are who God says we are. Let me repeat that: we are not what we do; we are who God says we are.
Our beliefs run everything about us: our emotions, will, reason, and behaviors. So once we believe something, whether conscious of what we just believed or not, our emotions, will, reason, and behaviors will align with that belief.
As the old NIV version of Proverbs 4:23 states, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” In other words, our heart is where our beliefs come from.
If Jack genuinely believes he is hopeless, we will see him produce actions in keeping with hopelessness. We can expect that no matter how hard he “tries,” he will never get over his food addiction, YouTube addiction, or shame. Most likely, even if he makes progress, he will self-sabotage out of the belief that he is hopeless.
Moreover, it will be hard for Jack to believe his true God-given identity. Jack will give himself a false identity. Notice the implications of that last sentence. If we believe something contrary to God's beliefs, then we are dealing with pride. We are saying to God, “I know better than you.”
It’s like we are trying to make ourselves our own creators and masters. However, as we saw previously, we don’t have that power. God is almighty. We are finite.
While guilt can be good when it tells us we have violated one of God’s commandments (leading us to repentance), shame is not good or constructive. Shame usually drives us away from God. Shame hinders us from healing, growing, and pleasing God.
To read more on what Scripture says about this, see Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 11:2, and 1 Corinthians 3:16-17.
Prayer: Father, I can be so arrogant. Father, thank You for forgiving me for the way I’ve shamed myself. Thank You for Your love for me, which is also not conditional on me getting over my shame. Thank You that You are purifying me. Please help me to replace shame with my true identity in Christ.
Chew On This:
What actions have you taken because you were ashamed of yourself?
To continue to part 7 of our Shame and Identity series, click here. To return to part 5, click here.