Blog

Gospel-centered counseling, coaching, and training

Shame and Identity, Part 8: Chewing On Scripture To Fight Shame

Today, we will look at the fifth step in our process of fighting shame and getting grounded in our identity in Christ. As we saw yesterday, the first four steps were:

  1. Pray and ask others to pray for true change.

  2. Humble yourself and increase your desire to change.

  3. Identify your personal shaming statements.

  4. Find Scriptures that combat your shaming statements.

Now, let’s get into our fifth tool. This must be done repeatedly until the truth sinks into our hearts.

  1. We must “chew” on the Scriptures that fight our shaming statements. “Chewing” is just my way of saying: meditating on a truth until the truth sinks from our heads to our hearts. (The word, to me, evokes the imagery of a cow grinding steadily away at a mouthful of grass, the way we need to deliberate on truth for our beliefs to change steadily.)

    We can chew by asking questions about the truth we want to believe and then giving detailed answers. This process leads us to believe the truth at a heart level. I usually like to do this as a prayer to God.

For example, I might ask myself, “Father, how could my life be different if I truly believed I am not hopeless because You are sanctifying me?” 

I would then start a detailed response by saying, “Whenever I give in to eating too much, instead of fueling my shame, I would turn to You, God. I would express my disappointment and shame to You; I would be real with You about how I feel. In engaging You with my sins, I would remember that You love and are for me. I would remember Your promise to sanctify me. I would beg You for help. If I really believed You will be the One to sanctify me, I would count on you more than I rely on myself. I would praise, trust, and thank you more.  Since I would not be focusing on my own strength as much, I would focus on You more, and I bet I would sin less.”

You can also ask other truth-chewing questions like:

  • How would today be different if I really believed this truth?

  • How would my relationship with (a specific person) be different if I really believed this truth?

  • How would I prioritize my week if I really believed this truth?

  • How would my relationship with You, God, be different if I really believed this truth?

  • What would life be like if I didn’t shame myself but if, instead, I believed this truth?

You can also ask others to chew with you.  Ask your spouse or friends how they believe your life would be different if you believed the truth. They might give you ideas you never thought of before. You can also look at these blogs to see if they help you to chew better.

Finally, if you are stuck in shame, a false belief that you can’t immediately identify by yourself may be blocking you from progressing. If this is the case, you may want to see if your pastor, counselor, or coach can help. Remember, this will be a process, so don't lose heart.

To read more on what Scripture says about this, see Joshua 1, Jeremiah 15:16, and Psalm 1:2.

Prayer: Father, please help me believe what You’ve done to me. You’ve given me a new identity. I want to live from it so that I can please You more. I want to be free of shame. I want to enjoy the time You’ve entrusted me with and make the most of it. Father, please replace my shame with the truth. Please lead me to chew on Your truths. Please give my friends insights on how they can help me chew, too. Thank You, Lord, that You will sanctify me and that I will live without shame for all of eternity.

Chew On This:

  • How would your relationship with God be different if you didn’t live with shame?

To continue to part 9 of our Shame and Identity series, click here. To go back to part 7, click here.

Ryan Bailey